How to nurture self-esteem in your children

Today is a special day. This is my first collaboration with Baby Creysi as a Mommy blogger. I share these lines with you with much love and with the sole objective of being closer and that together we explore this wonderful stage of our lives: being moms.

We have grown up together and I hope you will accompany me in this adventure. The content will evolve. We will discover moments and joys, but we will also share tips that will help us in raising our babies. Because finally that is our goal, guide them through the world, help them become good and strong people.

The first topic I want to explore with you is self-esteem in children. I am convinced that a mother who radiates self-love and self-acceptance instills the same in her children. We must love ourselves as much as we love them.

Start with self-esteem, your own self-confidence

These days the term “self-esteem” has been used a lot and it seems very easy, but it is difficult to carry it out. Building our own self-esteem goes from sleeping well, exercising, laughing, eating well, going out with friends or with our partner, or simply having some time alone.

Remember that we are the mirror of our children and we reflect everything they learn and all what they build day by day, such as their personality and self-esteem.

If a child continually hears his mother say words of disapproval towards herself, he will keep that attitude in his unconscious and reproduce it later. Undoubtfully, feeding our self-esteem and loving ourselves more help us become better mothers.

Think about it, the first contact babies have is with their mom. We are the ones who translate their needs, satisfy them and become the representatives of the world that they are getting to know little by little. Do you realize the importance of this first bond with us?

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Let them experiment

I like to teach my children to do new things. It is good that they try it for themselves because it gives them a sense of security. At first we have to help them, but then we should let them try little by little. That’s what I do.

I always tell them that I am confident they are going to achieve it and I let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes. They should experience the opportunity to learn, but above all to try and take pride in their achievements.

Don’t label them

It is very important not to use labels. When you tell them off, focus on the inappropriate behavior and not on the child himself. By putting labels like “you’re rude” or “short-tempered,” your kids can associate the mistake with their own personality. Instead, use phrases that separate the mistake from himself. For example: “I know you can stop the tantrum”.

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It’s better to highlight their achievements than to point out their mistakes

In our society we have been taught to educate our children by pointing out and correcting their mistakes, when the most important thing is to highlight their small and big achievements. They must be praised, without falling into excess.

I recommend that at bedtime, give your children five minutes to highlight their achievements no matter how small they were. Say something like, “I have realized that today you managed to stop your tantrum, I am sure that tomorrow it will be like that again” or “I really like it when you help with the housework”. Sending our children to sleep with these messages helps us a lot strengthen their self-esteem.

10 ways to help your daughter or son build self-esteem

I want to share other very useful tips that have helped me. It is in our hands to make a difference:

  1. Your children are unique, never compare them.
  2. Accept their feelings and teach them how to deal with their emotions.
  3. Listen to them. Give them the confidence to talk to you about whatever they want.
  4. Focus on their strengths and don’t try to make them perfect. Watch their progress, see what they do well and enjoy.
  5. Tell them clearly and specifically what you expect from them or what you want them to do.
  6. Celebrate their efforts and create opportunities for them to do well according to their age, tastes, and abilities. This is a key point because by ensuring that they have a chance to develop their strengths, they will feel good about themselves and improve their behavior.
  7. Don’t take control. Resist the urge to do everything to them.
  8. Consider mistakes as opportunities, do not focus on the failure but on the search for solutions.
  9. Keep a sense of humor, help your children not take things seriously.
  10. Encourage them to treat others with kindness.

Finally, I think the most important thing is that you remember that they learn by example. You will see that one day in the future you will turn to see your grown children and think with pride, “we did very well”.

I am Anahí and I am looking forward to meeting you in my next article in Baby Creysi.

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Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version

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